Home Again

So I made it back home without any problems and actually met many people on the plane. Ironically, on my first flight, I was sitting next to someone who did a semester abroad at UCT as well and who lives in Seattle. I hadn’t known her before because she went through a different program. It was fun to talk to her about the adventure and what we were excited for when we got home. On the second flight, I met a lady who had been traveling already for a couple of days. Her first flight had been cancelled due to weather problems and so she had to spend the night in the Johannesburg airport. I really enjoyed talking to her about her experiences and impressions of South Africa and she liked to talk about them. I liked hearing someone else’s point of view and it kind of reminded me of my first couple of weeks in the country. It is amazing how a little time and experience illuminates a whole new world. I enjoyed talking to her about some of her experiences and being able to explain why things happen the way they did. We talked a lot about a whole host of things including how South Africa has illuminated God’s working in our lives. It was great to have the company and the time flew by.

I brought lots of gifts home from South Africa. Actually one whole suitcase was pretty much filled with little things for my family and friends. But my major thing to bring home were these giant chocolate cookies. We bought 13 of them to give to people who had had birthdays and to share with people. In total, the cookies weighed 16 pounds. It was ridiculous. Most of the cookies were able to be put in my luggage however, I knew I had to carry 3 on the plane with me to give to my PLU family. They were meeting me at the airport and so I didn’t want to dig them out. Plus, I didn’t have any weight room in either of my suitcases so it worked out. Of course, when I got to customs they asked if I had any food. I had to say yes and thus I got put in the extra security line where they have to scan your bags and stuff. Everything went through just fine except for my bag with the giant cookies in it. The customs official took one look at the cookies and just said, “Those are GIANT cookies!” It was great. So far my family has eaten half of one. We cut it into small pieces and eat it with a little vanilla ice cream. It is great!

Anyways, I have been apprehensive about coming home. I knew that I had changed and wasn’t sure that I would fit in with my friends the same way that I did. I wasn’t sure if I was going to get bombarded with the question: “How was Africa?” I hoped that I could catch up with the place that had changed while I was gone. There are just a lot of things that are unsure. So far, I have been fine. I am really glad to be home. I tried to keep up on things at home and I think that helped. Sometimes I do feel left out of the loop but most of the time I am just really happy to be with my family and see my friends. The only hard part is now I know that I have already spoken about South Africa too much. I already get the glazed look like “Oh, she is talking about Africa again.” It is so hard because you know that what you have seen and heard and lived has given you a new awareness. People do things differently in other places. That type of living has now influenced me. I can’t go back. I am different but I understand that everyone does not always want to hear about it. Luckily, though, I have Lane. When we want to reminisce, it is fine. I have an outlet, which is really nice.

I can’t describe how I have changed. I know that this experience will live on with me for the rest of my life. I am not sure that I would ever go back to South Africa. It is a very nice place but it is hard to live there. I wouldn’t be able to really travel because I would constantly think about being a tourist. I didn’t much care for being a tourist there because it seemed really fake to me and just frustrated me more. There are still a lot of major issues that the country needs to figure out. I mean that is not to say that America doesn’t have its own issues but I realize that because I have lived here all my life somehow I am more tolerant of our issues.

It was a hard semester for me. I realized that a large school was really not the place for me. I really had to work hard for my grades and I didn’t really enjoy the learning environment. Probably if I was there for longer, I would develop some deeper relationships but really I miss talking with my profs and having the ability to learn more and have them care about what they are teaching instead of learning everything by myself. Additionally, every day in South Africa I had to battle stereotypes and racial issues. I had socioeconomic status differences shoved in my face every day when I walked to school, went to the grocery store, or even looked around my room. In America, all of these issues are packaged up and hidden so you don’t have to see them every day. I know that makes me seem like a horrible person to not want to see my privilege every day. But honestly, I already feel guilty. There is only so much that I can do in my life. There are only so many people that I can help. It makes me feel so bad every time I see someone in need and so somehow not being bombarded constantly makes me more able to focus and gain the skills to help, while also allowing me moments to be happy in my life.

My experience in South Africa has had its great moments and its difficult times. All of my experiences have made me more independent, more well rounded, and more adaptable. I feel like I am able to uncover hidden truths easier and navigate unfamiliar territory with greater ease. I am no longer afraid not to know how to do something before I try it. God has blessed me with safety in my travels and in just having the ability for this experience. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. It has become an integral part of my being. I am not done traveling or seeing new things. But that being said, I am happy to be home where life is less difficult. I am happy to be where I know and understand life because I have lived it for 20 years. I know the dynamics of my own culture. I do not have to second guess my assumptions on how something will work. I am sure that I will be ready for the adventure again soon but my year has had enough adventure for this 20 year-old girl. I am happy to be home!